Those are the words my incredibly thoughtful neighbour spoke to me a couple of days ago when her precious son handed me a Christmas gift. Dani had made our family a Christmas ornament. It was a clear bauble that held a piece of green tinsel along with pixie dust, a butterfly and the most important part... the letters of his name.
Sometime the thoughtfulness of people astounds me. Yeah, I cried!
Since I opened up a venting festival last night on my blog, I would love to turn it all around and hear if any of your friends have done something special for you in remembrance of your baby when you were not expecting it.
Dani, I am forever grateful to have you as a neighbour. But you are my friend before a neighbour, and I treasure you.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
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18 comments:
When we lost our son Jordan, one of my friends came to see me in hospital and told me that she had organised someone to come and do the plaster cast of his hands and feet. That was a wonderful gift to have.
YEP....was YOU carls. he he he, i came home from work one day and I opened an envelope to find LOTS of beautiful photos inside. Made by day. Also the sun catcher you gave to me as a present too.
Love ya babe xx
Carly, that is so thoughtful and lovely.
When we lost Isla my support group friends bought me a ring and had both my girls names engraved on the inside plus Kayla got to shoose a ring and have it engraved. Another sent me a frame with her name engraved on it plus an angel with the letter I. Another bought around 2 beautful angels for the garden and lastly another gave us wooden letters for Isla, a C for Catharine and a K for Kayla (our living daughter). I have been overwelmed with their support and love.
XX
That is so lovely of your neighbor! I feel blessed to have so many people honor and remember my babes. There have been so many special things that people have done when I was not expecting it. That includes all the special ways you have honored Emma and Chase!! <3
It hurts me so much to answer no to this question and also makes me feel very very alone in this sad journey.
What a truly wonderful neighbour you have Carly...what a truly blessed life you lead.
~x~
what a lovely friend you have! I would have probably cried too. Thank goodness some people still have a heart <3
I get little things from my BLM friends all the time. Whether its a note, a photo, a text message... they let me know they care and they remember Genesis. It means oh so very much to me.
to the very special family and firneds who wrote a song for baby Indie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ambA2KBHFwY
With my first miscarriage my mother-in-law bought me a snowbaby angel ornament for my Christmas tree to hang up with my 6 and 1 year olds 1st Christmas ornaments . When I miscarried a second time I bought my second snowbaby angel ornament. With the second miscarriage I was given a hand crocheted baby afghan that my husbands Grandmother had made for our little one and she said she wanted me to have it and use it for myself . Six years later we lost out Grandmother and 7 months after her passing we were able to use the afghan that she had made to bring our healthy full term baby girl home in. I now have 3 babies 1st Christmas ornaments and 2 snowbaby ornaments on my tree every year . I am thankful for all 5 of my babies .
So many people have reached out to us. I could write an endless list of kind words, thoughtful gifts and powerful prayer that have come unexpectedly. But, one act brings me to tissues and swells my heart. I’ll try and make this short. My husband has a great group of friends, they have been together from elementary through college. Being scattered through out the state, being in different stages of life and love – it’s amazing their friendship remain.With that said, they are “man's’-man” type you know guys. I don’t always get their bond, but that’s OK. Every year they try and do an annual golf outing. It’s laughable, they even have a trophy they pass on each year called the “The Lord Steffen Cup”. I was glad that hubby agreed to join the group this year for their bonding weekend – I worry so much about him as we grieve. Rather or not he gets enough support from others besides me. Upon return home, he pulls out this shirt and with tears in his eyes shares his weekend. The shirt, a blue golf shirt with “Warriors Cup” embroidered in maize over the heart and our sons initials on the left sleeve….THEY ALL HAVE THESE SHIRTS. They wore them the entire weekend and dedicated their prized trophy that now bares the “Warrior Cup”. Our sons name is Owen, it means young warrior. These men, these golfing, football watching, sometimes stinky guys. Oh my, what would this world be like for us without their love and laughter.
An amazing friend of ours who is also a professional photographer, offered to come into the hospital when Jett was born, and take photos to treasure. Also some kinder mums named a star after him. I was lost for words.
In loving memory of Jett Ryder Kowalski - 3 September 2010
one of my best and dearest friends drew Brock's name in the sand and photographed it last year and sent it to us for his due date - we now have two gorgeous beach photo's. Another friend sent us a welcome card when Brock was born. She was a bit nervous about sending it beacuse it might be seen as callous, but it was one of the best things we recieved after we lost him. We got alot of sympathy cards, this one was gorgeous because it celebrated him. I still look at it and smile.
What a beautiful thing to have done for Christian :)
I can think of a few things. My sister named stars after both of my girls. She thought we could show Ophelia (Ava's twin sister) Ava's star when she is a bit older. I was so touched by that.
My friend bought a beautiful candle with Ava's name on it. Another wrote a poem for both my girls and framed it for me, beautiful. Some ladies from a forum I used to post on bought a necklace for me in Ava's memory and also donated to the neonatal unit that looked after my girls.
I feel honoured to be your friend and so blessed to have moved next door to such an amazing person.
I care for each and every one of your babies as I do my own and feel so lucky to have been given the chance to get to know you all. Thankyou for simply being you.
Actually yes, I have been thinking about this person's random act of kindness. She is now a very dear friend to me. She bought me an engraved Angel ornament with Jenna's name on it. I was so touched by it. At the time few people knew how okay I really was talking about Jenna, and at the time I wasn't too close to this person. When I found out it was her, she became a very special person. It wasn't even just the gift, but the thought that went behind it. She went out of her way to show me she loved my daughter, and wasn't forgetting her this time of year. :)
Carly,
I'm so glad you turned the conversation around! I was actually going to write and ask you if you have a particular memory of someone's thoughtfulness and if your readers would like to share theirs. Then I open your blog and . . . you beat me to it!! Thanks to everyone for sharing. And I am so sad to hear Miss Ruby comment that she has not felt supported. Blessings to you especially. You are a beautiful mother!
-Shandee
Quite surprisingly my mum remembered the second anniversary after the loss of my first miscarried bubba. I was at work and it had kinda slipped my mind, but she called and asked me how I was going. Such a big thing for her as she wasn't pleased that I had gotten pregnant to my new boyfriend at the age of 19! But she had dealt with her feelings and ended up being a great support to me. Having her acknowledge the anniversary spoke volumes to me. :)
And you Carls :)
The little packages you gave to us girls at the very first IBMD at Kings Park back in May. To see the photo of 3 sweet hearts in the sand - so precious.
Love you and only hope I can be as good a friend to you somehow xox
I have two wonderful stories:
We had a celebration after we lost our little Chloe Rose. People gave us cards and gifts which we opened before we left town for two weeks. A family friend had bought us a pink snow globe with and Angel in it holding a banner that said love. She had engraved on it "Chloe Rose became an Angel 6/5/2009" She hid it at my Mother in laws so we didn’t see it till we got back.
The other: We were looking for a Snow White (her fav along with Minnie Mouse) cookie jar for Chloe's ashes and we stopped into a antique store to inquire. We told the keeper our story and she said she would keep an eye out. The day of Chloes celebration party, the shop keeper called and said to come down she found something. She called around and found someone willing to sell. It was perfect! She gifted it to us and it is still used and in our hutch so we can see it everyday.
A friend unexpectedly wore Luke's name and birth date on his jersey as he ran a marathon last year....he was one of those friends I didn't think "got it," but he did.
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