Sunday, January 30, 2011

He became one with the ocean

As the sun set we walked into the ocean together. Sam, my dad, my mum and I. Our hands were cupped tightly.

As we all bent down and sunk our hands into the water we released him.

On his fourth birthday I watched his ashes leave my hands and it was then that he finally became one with the ocean.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Butterfly Giveaway Winners

The winners are

For Mary Lynn

Katie Allan Stahl
For Jack

Congratulations ladies! Please send me an email at and I will email you your butterflies.

Love and peace to everyone,

Lost Memories

I wonder how old you really are. How old we all really are.

Today I found your name in your Grandfather's dictionary. It is such an old looking book. Discoloured and faded. It was printed in 1964. 18 years before I was born, 43 years before you were born. This dictionary was printed before I was even a thought in my parents minds.

I wonder if our spirits existed together then and somehow in our transition to earth we lost our memories of each other.

You are now the most beautiful memory for me. Know that I could never forget you.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Child Spirits

I wonder what they all like. Funny, naughty, cheeky, placid, quiet, artistic? Sometimes I truly feel like I can sense or even just tell what a little child's personality or spirit is like by the way the waves form around their name. I absolutely believe each child plays a part in having their name written in the sand. I am sorry if that upsets anyone who believes that their is no life after death. I have just seen too many magical things happen in my short lifetime to ever believe that their is no life after death :)

So the other night I was drawing at the beach. I wanted to draw a fairy butterfly for Emma. I am not kidding you, I drew this butterfly about 14 times before I could get the photograph of it for Emma's mother. Each time I started drawing, something would happen to prevent me from drawing it. The waves came in, a seabird ran through the butterfly, a bee started hovering around me, a dog came over and ran his paw prints right next her butterfly. You name it, it probably happened. So I decided that I would leave Emma's butterfly and start drawing my pure spirit butterfly for her brother Chase. It took only the one drawing and the one photograph to capture Chase's butterfly. There were no waves, no bees, nothing, just stillness.

So I went back to start drawing Emma's butterfly. This time when I tried to draw it all of these seashells revealed themselves that had been hiding underneath the surface of the sand. It sounds beautiful, and actually they were pretty little shells, but boy did they make a mess of her butterfly! So I was like "Now Miss Emma, you are quite cheeky aren't you?!" "So gorgeous girl, I really want to give this photo to your Mama to make her smile so do you think you could help me draw this butterfly for her? I will even write your name on it?" After I said this, the sea calmed down, the birds, bee and dog were no where to be seen and I was able to draw Emma's Fairy butterfly and take a photograph of it for her beautiful mother.

I wonder if Chase is a quiet young man. A peaceful spirit maybe. I believe Emma is quite the little party girl with a spirit full of adventure.

If you have ever been waiting to have your childs name written by me at the beach and it has been sitting at the top of my wait list for some time it is simply that I have had a interesting time at the beach trying to capture your their name in a photograph :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Pure Spirit Beach Butterfly Giveaway

So this is my latest Beach Butterfly design. The Pure Spirit Butterfly.

I thought it would be so sweet to have the childs name as the body of the butterfly. Whilst I imagine my boy riding on the wings of butterflies I know so many people see their children as butterflies. I think it turned out so lovely.

My next challenge... The Fairy Butterfly!

So I am giving one away :) If you would like to enter this giveaway please leave me a comment on here or on facebook with your choice of name/s for the butterfly.

Good luck everyone :)

Love and peace,

Saturday, January 15, 2011

2011 - Finding Myself Again

When Christian died I lost myself. It was like I died too. The person that I had grown into was gone. I was left stripped bare of my life.

Before Christian died I believe I was quite the spiritual person. I prayed to God often. I would have daily rituals of reading positive affirmations in the morning to help me through out my day. I believed in Angels and that I had them around me and my daughter always. I remember whispering into Scarlett's ear each night as I kissed her good night that her Angels were watching over her.

I felt a deep connection to the earth. I remember I would be in awe of the smallest of beauties such as a tiny flower or the golden web of an orb weaver spider. I would play beautiful music through out my day. I would read books, cook more, I would spend more time relaxing and finding moments to just be still.

When Christian died it was like somebody pulled my soul from my body and told me to start again. I was vulnerable and desperate for guidance and support. I got onto a boat where I found comfort, but without going into details and hurting others feelings after a while that comfort did not feel right. My deepest beliefs were different.

I felt washed out and exhausted. I forgot myself. I lost my sight for beauty. I let go of my angels. I stopped whispering in Scarlett's ear each night. I prayed to God, but my prayers no longer had any truth or heart to them.

Over time I got off that boat and I am slowly finding parts of myself that I had forgotten. This new year I am giving and dedicating to myself. Hah! I know how selfish! I am going to find myself again. Not just parts of me but my whole self, and then I am going to build on that.

I feel this deep calling to help others through the most devastating time of their lives. And if I want to be able to help anyone I have to have helped myself first. My spirit needs to be energized and full of life. God gave us all beautiful souls and we deserve to let them shine.

I have the most amazing year ahead of me. And I am only excited about it. My prayer and hope is that if you have lost a part of your beautiful self, that you find your way back to you this year too.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

For The Broken Hearted

I had the honour of photographing my beautiful neighbours son’s baptism yesterday. For my own reasons I have not been to church in a long while. As I entered the church, flickering lights caught my eye. A lady was lighting a candle. She stood there for a few minutes in prayer.

Each of these candles represents a prayer, a worried heart, a faithful heart, a sorrowful heart. I lit a candle for all of our broken hearts. My prayer was for peace. For all walking this road of grief.

What a beautiful act... to light a candle for somebody else.

Pearls, starfish, seashells and a beach party!

Since Christian died I have been searching for the perfect candle for him. One that we can light for an hour on his birthday each year. It may have taken me 3 years and 11 months but I found it and it is just that... perfect.

This year we are having a party for Christian. Yeah so what is he is not here to celebrate it, my kid is awesome and we are going to have a party to celebrate his awesomeness!

Christian's birthday falls on Australia Day which is totally cool as it means there will always be a public holiday and even cooler FIREWORKS! So this year we are having a party down at the beach and everyone is welcome to join us for a picnic dinner at sunset.

We will light his candle for the first time at his beach under the sunset and star filled sky on his 4th birthday.

For the first time in 4 years I am looking forward to this day.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Christmas Day Winner and 10 Runners Up

And the winner is....

Suzanne Kuuse

Susanne, congratulations! Please send me an email at so I can organize your prize with you.

Now the 10 Runners up for a Gallery Butterfly or CarlyMarie image of their choice are...


Rebecca McVey

Michael Norris

Sarah Stout

Becky Johnston Tamosaitis


Gina Fiorini Toothe

Jessica Beauseigneur

Mary Carmickle Thompson

Congratulations Runners Up! Please send me an email with the image you would like along with the name/s you would like placed within your image.

To everyone who entered any of my 25 giveaways and did not win a prize the image above is for you. Please feel free to copy and paste the image to your own computer/facebook page.

You will need to double click the image before copying it.

Wishing you all love, peace and hope.