Most days I am fine. You know. I think of him every day. Maybe even every waking hour. But I am okay.
I missed out on him but in a strange beautiful twist he consumes me. He is my life now. My work. My joy. My passion. I just can't see him. I can't feel him, but in some very special moments I do sense him.
In just under two weeks I am flying to Melbourne to meet up with some very gorgeous girls. One in particular is my dear friend Sally. I have known Sally for just over two years now. She found my blogpost that I wrote on the day her first daughter was stillborn. It was titled Tuesday's Hope. I wrote it after I had had the dream of Christian on the beach writing his name in the sand. The dream that started his legacy. Sally's little girl Hope was born on that very day. You can probably tell just from that little story that Sally and I have a strong bond.
When I go to Melbourne I will be taking a small portion of Christian's ashes with me. For years now I have wanted to scatter some of them but I could never quite let them go. On Sunday 21st of November I will be visiting Hope's grave with Sally. I am going to leave some of Christian's ashes there with Hope.
If you are in Melbourne and would like to come to the picnic I am organizing at the Royal Botanical Gardens come and check out the invite on facebook and let me know if you can come.
I am so looking forward to this trip. I get to see my brother, rock out with him at a show of a new friend of mine, meet up with new friends and old and spend some time photographing the beautiful city of Melbourne with my awesome old man. I don't know how I will go without my girls. I miss them already. They are my world.
Have you ever scattered your child's ashes somewhere? Whereabouts? How did you feel afterwards?
Much love and many blessings.