Friday, March 18, 2011

Creating a space in your home for your child/ren

Since Christian died we have had a special place in our home for him. He will never have a room of his own. He will never draw on the walls. We will never have a seat at our dinner table. He will never add his clothes to the washing. He will never argue with his sisters on who's turn it is to clear the dinner table. He will never ride a bike outside or jump on the trampoline with his little neighbour who is the same age as him. In saying all of that he still deserves a place in our home. He is our son and brother and he is a loved and remembered member of our family.

We have what some people might call a shrine in our home. It is his place. It is in full view for everyone to see. It is made up with a framed photo of his name in the sand, seashells, his ashes, candles, a mirror and a dragonfly painting. It has treasures from people who live all over the world. This place is quiet and beautiful. It is in the very front room of our home which happens to be my studio. You can see it as soon as you walk in the front door. Creating a shrine for your child is a beautiful and ongoing experience. You will forever be able to add things and change things. A friend of mine collects pieces of sea glass when she visits the beach, another friend collects treasures that her and her son find on the forest floor.

There are so many things you could do to create a sacred space in your home for your child. I highly recommend this as it has been a step forward in my healing process. These sacred spaces give you a place to reflect and just be however you need to be. They are also wonderful if you have other children. They are a gentle and safe way for your other children to remember and honour their sibling. Let them add their own touches to the shrine. Whether it is a painting, drawing, a letter they have written or a treasure that they have found on a walk in the park.

I wish you a beautiful healing time in creating a space in your home for your child/en.