Friday, March 18, 2011

Pregnancy After Loss

Pregnancy after losing a child is hard. I can't lie. I wish I could tell you that your baby will be born healthy, safe and alive. I want that for every mother mourning the loss of their baby.

I do not believe there is a wrong or a right time to try for a baby after you have lost one. For me, my yearning for a baby outweighed the worry of if it was going to happen again. If you are wanting a baby so much that it outweighs your fear of losing another child then I believe you are ready.

My pregnancies with River and Ocea were a whirlwind of emotions. I felt anxious, worried, excited, hopeful, fearful and paranoid. I could not picture my baby being born alive. But they were. They were born screaming into this world.

What helped me the most was having a close friendship with other babylost mothers that were on the same road as myself. In particular there were three other women who's babies were all about the same gestation as my baby. We shared everything together through emails. We held each other up on the bad days and we were able to find the positives and beautiful moments in all our pregnancies. Our friendship has continued since all our babies were born. I can honestly say that having this friendship with women that completely understand what I had been through was the single most thing that got me through my latest pregnancy. You may want to have a look on the internet for forums to do with pregnancy after loss. There are women out there who can support you and you will be able to return that support to them just by being a friend.

If you are pregnant there might be other babylost mothers that warn you of things to look out for during your pregnancy. They only have your best interests at heart. Try not to concentrate on all these things. There are so many things that could take your baby from you and if you concentrate on all of them you are only bringing about unnecessary stress to you and your precious baby. Try to focus on positive beliefs.

During my last pregnancy with my daughter Ocea I kept an online journal. You can read it here week by week.

If you are trying to conceive after a loss I wish you all my peace and love. If you are pregnant I hope this has been of some help to you.